How do feel loved
Even if physical touch isn't your love language, try an affectionate touch or caress to bring you closer to your partner. Or, if you're both game, maybe even try a massage.
Listening to your partner is a good way to make them feel appreciated. If you're looking for ways to strengthen your bond with your partner, these are a few ways that can help. Just remember, be authentic and kind, and you're already half way there. This article was published on December 27, It was updated on June 17, See All Health Relationships Self.
This isn't to say we have to put up with a partner who's cold and has no empathy , and we all deserve to be treated lovingly. The point is that how we feel about ourselves should not be based on the treatment of our partners. What we experience from others is a reflection of what we experience inside ourselves.
If you feel desperate for another person's love, it's a sign that you're desperately in need of loving yourself. There's a hole you're trying to fill, but the reality is it can only be filled by you. As you fill this need within—as you love yourself more and more—then you'll feel more love from others, too. Self-love is everything from how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake, to giving yourself enough time to sleep, to eating foods that make you feel nourished rather than deprived.
Self-love is the simple but profound act of treating yourself the way you'd treat someone else you care about deeply. I've experienced this concept profoundly in my own life. In the past, at times when I did not feel good enough, I desperately wanted to feel loved by someone else, in particular by a romantic partner.
As much as I tried not to, I would grasp and cling for a man's love, in hope that I could feel a sense of being loved. I thought his love was the answer, and if I could just get it , everything would fall into place. This couldn't have been further from the truth. Finally, after a ton of soul-searching and internal work, I realized the real truth, and I started to focus on loving myself. What happened next? All this time I had been trying to get love on the outside, and it never worked.
But once I started to cherish myself, the experience of being cherished by others came so naturally. I no longer had to chase after others for love; I just had to do the necessary work to feel love within myself, and the rest took care of itself. As I began to feel full, beautiful, and magnificent internally, I experienced others feeling these things for me in a greater way than ever before.
As I accepted my feelings and was kind to myself when I struggled, I encountered others who did the same for me. Our internal experience is mirrored back to us in our relationships; therefore, the best thing you can always do is find love within. When in doubt, love yourself. Now, loving yourself is a process. Or maybe you try to hide what you believe are flaws that might turn off your partner.
But over time, as your relationship strengthens, you may feel more at ease being yourself. You accept that both of you will always wake up with morning breath. Sometimes you may not be completely conscious of this. You may find it easier to openly share your feelings with a partner you love and feel comfortable with. Love often conveys a sense of security, so you may not feel like you need to hide your feelings or opinions to protect the relationship.
Your partner, like you, is an imperfect human. They have good traits, of course, which probably helped you fall in love with them. Even the things that seemed endearing when you first fall in love, such as the way they brush their teeth at the kitchen sink, may become something you sigh and roll your eyes over.
Loving someone requires you to see them wholly and accept all their parts, just as they see and accept all of you. Always reach out to a professional if abuse is present. When you fell wildly in love with your partner, you probably had sex all the time. As your relationship stabilizes, you certainly still have sex, but maybe less often or with less intensity. You might even worry the relationship is failing.
But often this only means the demands of life have made it necessary to plan time with your partner. Sexual activity might happen less often, but the effort you put into connecting intimately can make those moments even better. The relationship might seem to progress smoothly, even flawlessly, and the two of you seem to be on the same page about absolutely everything. Eventually you may need to prioritize your partner slightly less to take care of daily life.
But love means you keep trying and make an effort to show you care. Loving someone can involve a sense of strong connection and trust. You know your partner well enough to rattle off their likes and dislikes, values, and strengths without a second thought.
Sometimes you might even feel like a single unit. So, you know you love your partner, but you think you may not be in love with them any longer. In fact, you might even feel a bit relieved to know your hormones have settled down a little. Some people prefer the excitement of being in love. If you make a point of having dinner together more often, for instance, these types of conversations will happen naturally. Use this couple-y time to talk about the good, the bad, and everything in between.
Getting past the honeymoon stage — aka the most exciting stage of a relationship — is another reason why you might feel less loved than usual. Relationship energy slows down as time goes on: You may not have sex as often or go on as many dates as things develop — and it can feel like a letdown. But the cool thing is this change also offers a chance to figure out what the next stage of your relationship might look like. Enter: new traditions. You can always go back to going on more dates and having lots of sex.
But you can also schedule movie nights, go on double dates with friends, take a class together — or whatever else sounds fun. The goal of these new traditions is to invest more time and energy into the relationship. To give more, look for ways to be the exact type of partner you want to be with.
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